I was 40 + 4 days pregnant on March 21, 2022. I had convinced myself to enter the mindset that I was okay to wait for this baby to come when he decided he was ready.

We found out he was a "he" back in September 2020 because I have no will power to wait the full 40 weeks to find out who will be joining our family, so when it comes to surprises, the official date of arrival is something I like to keep up in the air. I have been lucky enough to have healthy pregnancies so that this is a possibility for me, I know this just isn't an option for everyone.

When I reflected on March 20-22 I think my labour actually began the night of March 20. I was having some "tightenings" stronger and more uncomfortable than the usual Braxton Hicks I'd been having for months but with no real pattern to them. Another clue I had was that throughout the day on March 21, I had SEVERAL poops. I am a once a day-er normally so this was certainly a change for me.

In thinking this COULD be the day, I borrowed a pair of Trev’s headphones, popped a baseball cap on and stuffed my swollen feet into a pair of runners. I was going to do what I did during my last early labour and take a brisk walk around the nearby pond. Since, due to the pandemic, I didn’t have my walk partner (my beloved mom ) to walk with me, I called her up on the Bluetooth headphones to chat with me while I shuffled off.

Oh - this reminds me of another sign I think I had - my pelvis felt a little bit like rubber. If I moved a certain way it felt as if my hips were out of joint which made my walk a bit tricky. In hindsight, I wonder if this jelly-way I felt had something to do with my ligaments loosening up in preparation for labour.

Back to walking, nothing was quite ramping up like I remembered it had with Griffin. At that time, the contractions slowly intensified the more I walked but this time, there was only a here and there pain and no patterns had started. I rounded the corner to go home and said so long to mom. I told her I’d surely let her know if anything changed. I wondered if I’d be calling her back for a phone call walk the next day.

I find each time I've been close to a due date it's really hard to plan anything. I hadn't really prepared too far in advance so was taking it a day at a time including preparing meals. I hadn't thought of anything for dinner that Sunday evening so I headed off to the grocery store to pick up some burgers. It was a sunny, warm day and the kids were outside playing so a BBQ sounded appetizing. While investigating said burgers in the freezer section of our local Zehrs, trying to ensure I had the best bang for my buck, as I always do, a contraction came at a level that was a bit beyond what I’d been experiencing. In my previous two pregnancies, I’ve been in labour for hours to the point I have an epidural in place by the time my water breaks but there I was in the frozen food section starting to panic in fear that this was the time it was going to happen early and in such a public way. I started waddling down the aisles to collect my BBQ items faster and faster, racing the strength of my water balloon inside, sure to spill amniotic fluid all over the supermarket floor. I vowed to myself that I wouldn’t be returning to that store until I had a baby with me.

I can’t quite remember the details of dinner but I’m pretty sure my 4 year old dummied a giant President’s Choice Angus burger - which I find amazing because they are actually huge - and I’m pretty sure my 2.5 year old ate a hot dog bun and maybe a bite or two of the actual hot dog (oh 2 year olds!) During dinner I started to get a few more of those uncomfortable tightenings. When I was done eating I thought I’d best go sit on the Lazy Boy chair and record the frequency of my contractions. They were now coming every 20ish minutes. The time was 7:29 PM when I started timing so I told Trev it might be best to get outside cleaned up while I see how these contractions go. The BBQ had to be cleaned, the lid on the sandbox had to be replaced, the bajillion toys had to be put back in the Rubbermaid bin etc. I took the kids upstairs and got them into their pyjamas. I wanted them near me so I put a movie on in our room and the three of us sat on our king size bed and watched Moana.

With Trev outside, where I knew he had to be, I was anxious indoors without him. I was afraid to get everyone moving in case this was some kind of false labor. I’d gone through it before with Griffin, and since we were relying on non-family members to help us with the boys when I went into a spontaneous labour, I didn’t want to get everyone moving without knowing for sure.

With Trevor still outside I got myself into the bath with the door open, of course, so I could hear the kids, to see if that could give me any relief from the pain and help me labour on. The painful contractions were not even terribly painful at this point but I rhink my anxiety made me feel like they were worse than they were (if that makes any sense?)

When Trevor came back inside I suggested he clean up the house a little bit so that it looked liveable for whoever was going to come over and help us out in the next couple of days. I put the kids to bed. It was a bit emotional for me knowing that the next time I saw them our family would be forever different than it had been the past 2.5 years, in a good way albeit but emotional all the same.

Our bags were packed and ready for the past couple of weeks and when I felt confident enough in that evening that I was truly in labour, I had Trev throw them in the car. I called over to Groves Memorial Community Hospital and, yeah it was my third baby, but gosh, I still needed reassurance regarding when I should go to the hospital. My contractions have never gotten to the point of being super evenly spaced apart (much like my wonky period every 28-34 days) so at this point I was contracting anywhere between 4 and 7 minutes and had to breathe and shake my right foot through each one. The nurse told me I should head over casually, no rush, since it was my third baby so who knows how things would go. I had messaged my neighbour to give her a heads up earlier so when I messaged her again to let her know the action was happening, she was all set to go. She came over about 11:45 PM wearing a mask and her pyjamas and insisted she would sleep on the couch. After closing the front door and locking it, we made 2 or 3 trips back inside having forgotten things, as usual. Finally, we were off to the hospital.

This time around I found my contractions were super sensitive to position changes so anytime I’d move or go from standing to sitting or vice versa, that would set off a nasty one. We drove my Nissan Pathfinder to the hospital. I had to modify to layout the weeks preceding my due date to put the oldest kid in the back row and the baby bucket seat behind the passenger seat. When I sat down in the passenger seat and Trev started driving, this set off a contraction. Knowing the bucket seat was behind me, I suddenly felt like I didn’t have enough space to get through the contraction and felt like a pretzel in the front seat. Trev assured me there was room to adjust my seat and voila. I got spread out and the 6 minute drive went swimmingly better.

We arrived at the hospital and had to enter through the ER. The parking lot was desolate. We were the only customers at the hotel - winning! We debated on grabbing our things but decided against it because I was uncomfortable and anxious to know what was going on with the old cervix so off we waddled (and when I say “we “, I mean me).

I’d imagined myself in the throws of contractions in front of a crowded ER or Central Registration with several other patients around, so I was incredibly grateful for the empty ER so that I could go about making my screwed up contraction faces and loud breathing without an audience. We were escorted up to the labor and delivery unit. There we met Amanda, the lovely nurse who’d advised me on the phone. She set me up to the monitor in the triage room.

When you live in a small town, it could be very likely that your hospital is run by the group of family doctors that practice there. In Centre Wellington, this is the situation so you’ll find your local family doctors taking a turn in ER, at the walk in clinic or in obstetrics. I was told by the doc who did a stretch and sweep for me just 2 days earlier, that my own family doctor, Dr. Norrie would be on call that weekend. So I was incredibly pleased to see his resident, Dr. Bedard, come in to assess me that evening. It reminds of “the old days” when family doctors were managing everything for their patients - attending to them in hospital or delivering babies. It was probably INSANE but it makes things a bit more personal. He was on call until 8 am so we had 8 hours to get this baby out on his watch and I’d love to tell Tristan when he’s older that his doctor delivered him so I was hoping he’d make an entrance prior to 8 AM.

Turns out I was 4 cm dilated upon my arrival to the unit. This was a celebration for me because my precious 2 labour Id only progressed to about 2 cm after hours of labour so it was a win. I was taken to a delivery room and everything was set up. They asked me if I wanted an epidural to which I responded yes. I had had one with both of my previous labours so I was keen on opting for it again this time. My epidural with River had worked wonderfully. He was a forceps delivery and I didn’t feel the giant BBQ tongs they used, just the pressure and movement of it all. My epidural with Griffin did not work very well and I felt intense contractions the whole labour and absolutely nothing when it came time to push.

Having been 2.5 years since my last delivery I had developed some anxiety and fear in epidurals. When the doctor came in to start it for me, I had the opportunity to discuss the risks with her which reassured me I still wanted it but I had this overwhelming feeling that surely SOMETHING was going to go wrong with it. And for the record, the risks are quite minimal. The doctor was excellent and explained exactly what she was doing while she was doing it and when she told me while the catheter was being thread into place, I might feel a ‘zing,’ sure enough, I felt a ‘zing’ into my right butt cheek. She asked me if it hurt and I’m not quite sure it actually did, but I responded yes and continued to become more freaked out from there.

With my back arched and not being allowed to move I got another contraction and I just started to lose it with panic. My hands that were in Trevor’s became incredibly sweaty and I just started to cry, tears running into the mask. Sweet Amanda pulled my mask down and dried my tears. They gave me a break and I collected myself. I put the damn mask back on and we went for the epidural again pushing past the ‘zings’ until it was done. It actually ended up working pretty well and, while I did feel some of the more intense contractions that I still needed to breathe through, it made it much more tolerable. I couldn’t sleep through the contractions because they were still painful enough. My dear Trevor did have a good snooze though. He sat in a reclining chair on my right side and got a bit of sleep. That dude can sleep anywhere.

Around 4 AM I was checked again. It looked like I was 10 cm dilated! Wow! I know it was 4 hours since my arrival but it felt all very quickly that my body got to 10 cm in that time. The weird thing was that my water still hadn’t broken! My team was wondering if it had and we had somehow missed it or if maybe it was still intact? Baby’s head was right there. I remember my nurse saying something along the lines of “Let’s have a baby!” and off she went to call the doctor to come in! I felt excited and slightly panicked that I wasn’t going to be able to wake Trevor for this moment we’d been waiting for as he slowly roused from his slumber to my calls that he needed to wake up for baby time! Dr Bedard came in and checked out the waters situation. Turns out it was still intact at 10 cm dilated! I make strong water balloons apparently! She had to break it so away she went. I can’t remember it it was before the breaking waters or after but my own family doctor came walking in, yawning and also clearly tired having been woken from his sleep to be there. I was so extremely happy and grateful to have him there.

When time came to pushing, my main nurse, Amanda was an amazing coach. She gave me clear instructions on how to breathe and how to push. Most times she had me do 3 pushes per contraction. Contraction > deep breath and hold it > then push like you’re pushing out a poop the size of a small human being - magical, right? As I got him closer to crowning, she had me do more pulsing pushes. The more control you’re able to have, the less you’re likely to tear. I believe I was told I pushed for less than 10 minutes. If I had to guess, I’d say I pushed for less than 20 contractions, maybe less than 15. The epidural worked perfectly as I didn’t have to feel the “ring of fire” as they say yet I could feel the movement and the muscles I was pretty sure I had to use to push him out. I cried, I laughed, I swore, I grunted and made noises I wish I could take back!

I wore that damn blue paper mask THE WHOLE TIME! I forgot I even had it on!

Finally they laid that baby on my belly. He wasn’t crying yet. He was a little bluish. Trev managed to grab one video that is extremely emotional for me to watch. I speak in a high pitched gibberish that I can’t make out to the little baby on my abdomen and he replies to me in some sort of a cooey-whine that is pretty much the most beautiful sound I ever heard and Trevor and I laugh and cry like a couple of chattery squirrels. Gosh he was so beautiful.

The docs took him from me to get him on the CPAP and attempt to rouse him and get him crying. I couldn’t see him where I was so kept shouting “Is he ok?” exhausted on the bed they assured me he was and got him back to me.

Feeling experienced with newborns it was wonderful to feel confident holding this little gift while checking him out. I held him up to get a good look at his little squishy face and said to Trev “Did I just give birth to Ryan Nemett?” He seemed to look to me a lot like Trevor’s brother at this point.

I got him latched right onto my left breast and he did amazing! Dr Norrie came up to me and explained that Tristan’s cord had been around his neck when he was on his way out. Trev later confirmed to having seen this and the way Dr Norrie and Dr Bedard swooped in to untangle Tristan swiftly. Dr Norrie told me I had done a really great job and, let me tell you, this is exactly what a mother wants to hear after labour. Even for the third time I still feel like I have no idea what I’m doing, plus it’s different every time, so husbands/partners, healthcare professionals, friends, grandmas whoever is there for the birth of a baby, tell that mama you’re so proud of the job she has done and make her damn day!

At some point in there, I delivered the placenta. I’m kind of a nerd so I had Dr Norrie take me on a tour of it because it truly amazes me so there we were investigating the sac that just grew my baby. Super cool!

I asked my nurse to what degree I had tore and, to my surprise, she said none! I hadn’t torn at all! With River, I had an epidural that tore to the third degree and forceps so I was DESTROYED and, with Griffin, a second degree tear so to have none at all I couldn’t believe it.

I enjoyed snuggling our baby in the delivery room a while longer until the nurse came to bring me to our overnight room. After an epidural you’re supposed to be cautious when you get up as you don’t want to collapse from the numbness. She brought over the little scooter that you half sit on and got me on board. I felt so much lighter. I was so relieved to no longer be pregnant! I threw my arm in the air and waved it around like a cowgirl doing a little victory dance! Trev got our things and we got settled into our new room together with our new baby. I texted photos to as many friends and family as I could think of at 5 AM. I dozed only lightly. I find it’s much too hard to get a good sleep after an exhilarating experience that ended meeting this new little blessing to join in your beloved family.